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[ HE'S GOING TO KILL DEKU after all that work trying to save him. Katsuki slams a hand down on Deku's chest (avoiding those wounds, though) and firmly shoves him into the bed. Deku's injured, so he probably can't actually get up with weight on him keeping him down. ]

What did I JUST say, shitnerd?!

[He's way too weak to move. Katsuki is easily able to push him back down as Izuku groans again with protest, eventually settling against the pillows because he has no other choice. His body feels like it's on fire, especially his abdomen...and his leg. Both are wrapped up with gauze that's been changed every few hours, because although the healing magic performed took care of most of the internal damage and bleeding, it couldn't cover everything in a pinch.]

Tell me, Kacchan!

[ Yeah. Deku may notice at this point he's basically in his underwear to make the whole changing gauze shit easier on the person who's been doing it (Katsuki, probably) but like, that's probably not a huge deal here. They've known one another since diapers and they've shared changing rooms.

Katsuki snarls. ]

Dropped the ones we saved off at the Emperor as soon as we got back. Stay still or I'm knocking you out.

[It's basically a non issue really, it's pretty much a necessity that Izuku understands. No, he's more worried about their mission, and how utterly terrible it went. He does at least listen to Katsuki's warning, not trying to get up again.]

What about...t-the ritual...?

...They didn't succeed. [ This time? ] But they did get away.

[ So, basically...they can try again. ]

[...

Izuku goes quiet, his expression grave.]

There was...one more...

[ Katsuki...looks away. ]

We got three out.

[ Four. Deku's alive, and he very nearly wasn't. ]

[Three. But not everyone. He knows for a fact, because he saw one of them die. He heard the second as they screamed their last. And the third...

It doesn't take Izuku long to know exactly what Katsuki did.]

You saved me instead. ...why?

What, are you fucking complaining???

[ That's...very much not an answer. He stops holding Deku down, running his hand through his hair before stomping over to get the chair to drag closer. ]

N-no, but...you should have saved the civilian, Kacchan! You know that!

[He knows that, but...Izuku wasn't in that position. He didn't have to make that choice.]

And then what?! [ Is he going to yell at a bed rest patient? Yes, absolutely. ] Carried your stupid fucking corpse home?

[ If he seems like he's not holding it together...that's because he's, uh, not? He saw the victims they lost just as clearly as Deku did. ]

I...

[Yeah, Izuku. Then what?

He certainly couldn't have made that choice. He would have saved Katsuki...really without even thinking about it, he's sure. And that's what shuts him up about the issue pretty quickly, even though he looks like he's about to start crying.]

[ What else is new? The sky is blue, the grass is green, Izuku Midoriya is in tears about something or another... ]

If you didn't want me to have to fucking pick maybe you shouldn't have started bleeding out.

[...]

I didn't...mean to let that happen. They caught me off guard.

[He reacted badly to seeing someone die, and then...]

[ Yeah, well. Fuck Deku for that, but Katsuki can't say he didn't freeze up for a second either, seeing some of the people they were supposed to save die in front of them.

He's not...voicing that, though.

He angrily takes the seat he pulled over, arms crossed as he naturally slouches and manspreads. ]

They cut your throat.

[ Not all the way, but... ]

[Izuku stiffens, his eyes widening a fraction at that. And thoughtlessly, it causes him to reach up and put his fingers to his throat, feeling for the healing over cut that's surely there...it's not deep enough to scar, unlike the others.

Kacchan saved him, but he also almost didn't.]

...thank you. For...saving me.

Don't thank me for that shit.

[ Because...

Because he's going to fucking remember the way the last sacrifice looked before he turned away. He'll remember what they cried out at the last second when they realized that he'd chosen to save someone else.

It's not like he's proud of his choice. He wouldn't have been proud of the other one, either. ]

[Izuku hates this. He hates that this happened. He hates that people died. He hates that it was maybe inevitable, no matter what they did...they're lucky they saved anyone, much less those they did. They nearly died too, after all.

He has to look away, because the tears are really welling up now the more he thinks about it, sniffing as the pain he feels with every breath he takes reminds him of just how damn close he came to not making it out of there.]

Then...I'm sorry for putting you in that position, K-Kacchan.

Shut up!

[ GOD. There's no reason to yell at Deku now, but he just...is. He's a loose wire right now, and it'll take more than a day he didn't sleep through to wind himself back in. ]

We need a fucking upgrade.

[Please don't yell at him right now he WILL cry.]

U...upgrade?

[ I'm sorry are you lying and saying there's a choice here that involves Deku not crying ]

To our costumes, dipshit!

Oh. Right...well, maybe we can- nnhh-

[Izuku groans, shifting a little beneath the sheets as another sharp pain lances through his side.]

[ IDIOT. Katsuki straightens up a little, watching Deku like a hawk, but. ]

You need to stop moving around.

I'm not trying to...

[Izuku breathes out shakily. He's not used to not having Recovery Girl's healing...the magic here is similar, but nowhere near as effective as her Quirk.]

The bandages are t-tight.

That's because we wanted to keep your organs inside your stupid body

[ His eyes narrow. ] You don't get to take them off!

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