[Izuku pretty much has no choice but to reach up and grab the bags before they drop into the snow, juggling them for a moment before he gets them in his arms in a way that he won't be at risk of fumbling them.
Okay, fine. He can do this, at least. He tucks the bags close to his chest, planning on staying quiet as he follows Katsuki back to the castle with his shopping.
He can't as easily hide that new tattoo like this, though. He's not sure what he was thinking before anyway...it can't be hidden, no matter where he tries to hold his hands.]
Then we have to help smarter! Fuck, Deku, of course you shouldn't not help people, but you can do that without rubbing it in the faces of the people we're already helping.
[Izuku flinches like he'd been struck, but he doesn't fire back. Especially because he knows Katsuki is right.]
I...I'm not trying to do that.
[He glances up briefly as the castle comes into view. At least they'll be able to get away from judgemental gazes soon, because Izuku can't take it anymore.]
I've already been visiting families, informing them of their loss. I know I messed up.
But I can't stand watching people suffer, either. We didn't start this war, but we caused...we tore apart so many innocent lives during those battles. How am I supposed to be okay with that?
[ God knows he doesn't like it any more than Deku. They're both so different, but their main goal has always been the same... ]
But right now we can do more fucking good on one side or the other than we can being thrown out of the whole circus. Or do you think we can somehow go it alone?
[It's clearly been hard for Izuku to think that way- attacking people to help them, indirectly- but it almost seems obvious when Katsuki spells it out like that.
He's quiet too for a moment, looking sidelong at Katsuki.]
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[Izuku pretty much has no choice but to reach up and grab the bags before they drop into the snow, juggling them for a moment before he gets them in his arms in a way that he won't be at risk of fumbling them.
Okay, fine. He can do this, at least. He tucks the bags close to his chest, planning on staying quiet as he follows Katsuki back to the castle with his shopping.
He can't as easily hide that new tattoo like this, though. He's not sure what he was thinking before anyway...it can't be hidden, no matter where he tries to hold his hands.]
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You're lucky you weren't thrown out, too.
[ Like Korra. ]
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He wishes he had it in him to hold his tongue and not reply, but he feels like he has to defend himself, now. His teeth grit hard behind his lips.]
I didn't do what she did.
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[ Look ]
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There were innocent civilians who needed my help. I wasn't just going to stand there and watch them die.
[Ever so slightly avoiding answering that directly...]
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[ He's not stupid, Izuku. ]
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[He lowers his voice more, pulling his hood tighter over his head.]
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I didn't say that. But you sure as fuck could have done it smarter!
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[He mutters, bitterly. He still doesn’t feel like what he did was wrong, or that he should- or even COULD- have done it any differently.]
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Look, do you want to stay with the Court or not?!
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Yes, but...
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I...I'm not trying to do that.
[He glances up briefly as the castle comes into view. At least they'll be able to get away from judgemental gazes soon, because Izuku can't take it anymore.]
I've already been visiting families, informing them of their loss. I know I messed up.
But I can't stand watching people suffer, either. We didn't start this war, but we caused...we tore apart so many innocent lives during those battles. How am I supposed to be okay with that?
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[ God knows he doesn't like it any more than Deku. They're both so different, but their main goal has always been the same... ]
But right now we can do more fucking good on one side or the other than we can being thrown out of the whole circus. Or do you think we can somehow go it alone?
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I don't think that.
[His voice gets quieter. Smaller.]
I just want to help.
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[ Like what? ]
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What does that mean?
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[ Shit like that. ]
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Do you think that would have been enough?
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[ Quietly, but firmly. ]
And you could attack them - force them in a direction they could escape in.
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He's quiet too for a moment, looking sidelong at Katsuki.]
You've been thinking about this.
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What else would I be doing with my time?
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[It's not said bitterly, this time. Just as fact.]
You're always thinking one step ahead. Of course you would have had a plan to help everyone...without "helping" everyone.
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[ So...don't give it to him, apparently? ]
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Izuku is used to this though, so he ignores Katsuki being snappy about it.]
I'm just glad you're here. It would be hard figuring my way through this on my own.
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